Thursday, 28 July 2011

Nationals Senator Barnaby Joyce recently put out a press release in which he addressed the issue of CO2 regulation, and quoted a line which he stated was from a cowboy movie (which one I don't know), but which younger bloggers will probably best remember as having been sampled by Nate Dogg and Warren G in the song "Regulate".


And so, with Mr Dogg and Mr G's song firmly in mind, I went and wrote this:

REGULATE. Bob Brown and Julia G. (With apologies to Nate Dogg and Warren G).

Regulators – we regulate any emitting of this molecule
And we’re damn good too
But you can’t be any geek off the street
Gotta be cosy with the Greens, if you know what I mean, to earn your keep!

It was a clear black night, a clear white moon
Julia G was on the streets trying to resume
The search for a tax, but I was in a funk
Just rolling in my Prius, chilling all alone

Just hit the left wing of the ALP
On a mission trying to find PM Julia G
Got a new carbon tax that we need to tweak
Just make sure that the press club’s Murdoch-free

So Rudd pinned his hopes on Turnbull and CRU-ists
Got GetUp on his side so he said let’s do this
He put up the tax, he said what’s up
But Abbott pulled a coup so he said “I’m stuck”

See the Greens causing me to glide and swerve
My ETS looks like it’s hit the curb
Can’t they let it through now for a later fix
I see the Libs have got Kevin all in a fix

Now Kevin’s stuffed; he did it himself
He just can’t see, he blew the country’s wealth
Just look at the polls they’ve gone to heck
I looked at the Party, said damn, what’s next

They had Kevin hemmed up and they’re all around
Election coming up, they’ll get their fleshy pound
I gotta boost the polls quick ‘fore they’re too far down
I best pull out my knife and bring Kevvy down

They got knives in my back
I think I’m going down
I can’t believe it’s happening here in Canberra town
If I had wings I would fly, let me contemplate,
Off to the UN, to ingratiate

There’s no carbon tax” was my ace in the hole
Bob Brown helped me stop Tony Abbott stone cold
Now they’re screamin’ and yellin’, it’s a tad bit late
Bob Brown and Julia G said we’ll regulate

I got all those GetUp votes,
I watched the rolls explode
Now I’m switching my mind to Carbon Tax mode
And though I need votes, sit back and observe
Those new-elected Greens over there on the kerb

Now Bob got the votes and that’s a known fact
Lib Preference mistakes got him on the right track
Back up, back up, ‘cause it’s on, B.O.B. And me
the Carbon ALP

Just like before, Polls are in the same spot
In need of some desperate help
But Bob Brown and the G-girl
Are reprieved by something else
Some tabloid rag was awful as hell
Did things we all despise
I said “Murdoch’s black heart is cold as ice,
let’s en-qui-rize...”
I got a fistful of Greens and it’s going real swell
The next stop is the media inquiry from He-e-e-e-ell.

I’m tweaking... into a whole new era
mess with this, we dare ya!
Laws, on a whole new level
Bolt, Blair and Murdoch’s face is the face of the Devil!

Gore sings, we brings enquiry
Where ignorance is strength
and strength is ignorance

If you know like I know
You don’t want to mess with this
It’s the Grünreich era
Funked out with a Brownshirt twist
If you smoke like a chimney
Down near Battersea way
And if the gas should be “carbon”
ALP will regulate.

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